Hiding The Baby News

So far, we have only told a few friends. Our parents don't know yet, especially for Jason's parents, it's going to be a big surprise! Along with the Christmas presents, we made this and wrapped it up like a regular present:



We are just going to wait for the phone call after they open it! Now, with my parents, it's a different story altogether. They are NOT going to be happy for me. Forget the fact that I am happily married and just doing great at my job, and that I'm in a terrific place right now. When I told my mother I was even thinking of having another baby, the first words out of her mouth were: "I'm not saying your marriage isn't going to work out, but do you really want to be stuck with THREE kids?" Really, she couldn't have said anything worse. It was like a punch in the gut, because we were already trying to get pregnant. Plus, I had just recently had a miscarraige in June, so I couldn't believe she said that to me.

So, it's been awhile since that conversation - a few months. I'm supposed to see my parents on Dec. 28th and I was going to tell them then. UNTIL...my sister told me that she talked to our mother two days ago and she was ranting and raving about all the "bad things" I do. I'm guessing she's talking about getting tattooed and not going to church. That's all she has against me. And as their conversation continued, she tells my sister very angrily, "I hope she doesn't go and do something stupid like get pregnant when she doesn't even know if her marriage isn't going to last!"

See the thing is, no one knows if their marriage is going to last. Anything can happen at any time. But with Jason, I absolutely trust him with my life. He has his faults, but I am okay with what they are. I know he loves me, and I never have to question that. This is NOTHING like my first (and very unhappy) marriage. We are very close and connected, and both of us want this child very much. So, next week when I go visit my parents, I have decided NOT to tell them.

This is really shitty because it means I have to hide news from my daughters. They can't keep a secret - and they are going to be staying with my parents for the winter break from school. If they are with my parents for 10 days, there's no way one of them wouldn't slip up and say something. So, um...for now...we are hiding the baby news.

I'm Pregnant!

I have recently found out that I am pregnant - at this point I am 8 weeks 3 days along and my due date is 07/27/2008. I am finding this very odd because my oldest daughter's birthday is 08/27 and my youngest daughter's birthday is 01/27. What is with the 27's??? Both of my daughters were born on their due date.

To make this even more odd, my birthday is 10/28 and my sister's is 05/28. Just a coincidence???

My husband is very excited, as this will be his first biological child. Although he plans to adopt my two daughters, this experience of becoming a father is much different. He has never experienced a pregnant partner so all of this is really new to him. So far, he has been very understanding of the nausea, food cravings, etc.

I am a little sad that I have to hold off on getting any new tattoos until after the baby is born, but it is absolutely worth the wait. At least Jason has time to draw up all the things I want to get and he'll have no more excuses after I've given him all that time!

More updates, belly pictures, and parenting info to come soon!

Why Are Little Girls So Mean?

My oldest daughter is a 5th grader this year. I have just this one last year before she heads off to middle school where she will inevitably turn into a moody teenager and the world will feel like it's coming to an end. But I have noticed that ever since about the 3rd grade, my daughter has had constant problems with other girls in school. Little mini cat-fights. Seriously. What could a group of girls, starting at the age of 8, have to fight about?

It hurts me as a parent to watch her go through these ups and downs. Because, being a girl myself, I know that it does not get any better. Sometimes it affects her grades, and it most certainly affects her moods...which in turn affects my mood because she gets pissy with me after work and well, that sucks.

All of the parenting advice that I've read and received tells me that these problems are very common for her age group. My friend (who happens to be a child psychologist) and I took the kids to dinner last night and tried to help my daughter sort out all of the issues. We wanted to give her a way to go back to school and take care of the situation. So we did some role playing. It was odd, but it went pretty well.

My friend and I pretended to be the mean girls that gang up on her, and Deja played herself. She asked us: "Why are you mad at me? Why did you stop being my friend?" And we made up things such as: "I heard you said something mean about me." and "You act bossy." and we made Deja come up with responses to these questions and even a general apology towards the girls if she felt like she wanted to mend the friendship.

We also talked about how when she gets mad, she shouldn't yell at people. We talked about what other things she could do to get her feelings out and to calm down before she makes the situation worse. She said that she likes to write, so I got her a notebook in which she can write down how she feels - just to vent - a private notebook just for herself.

Do you think these things will work? I didn't know what else to do, but I'm going to ask her in about a week how things are going and if she has talked to the girls. I'd love to hear what other parents are doing to help their daughters get through these situations....

5 More Days Until My Birthday!

I haven't posted on here in awhile, but today I am in a combined mood of whimsical and sad. Which makes me want to write. I did want to go ahead and post a picture of the cupcakes that my friend Jayne and I made for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Tell me what you think!



And last night, I made Cinnamon Toast Cupcakes, which turned out amazing. They are definitely a new favorite.

But sadly, not even cupcakes can cheer me up today. If I haven't mentioned how hard it is being a mom, it's even harder being a wife. I guess I have been pretty stressed out lately. Both of my daughters have been sick in the last week...and well, me personally, I thought I was pregnant, got all excited, only to find out that I actually am not pregnant. So, emotionally, I am drained.

One good thing that has happened recently on the parenting front is that I decided to implement a Rewards & Responsibilities chart. I printed a chart and reward coupons from this website called Child Avenue. It is all kinds of helpful. First let me just say, I did not think my daughters would respond to this type of system. But my four year old was getting out of hand - just being rude and talking back and even hitting her sister for no reason. And well, the 10 year old, it was even worse. She was having girl fights over boys in class, lying, and just being generally disrespectful.

So, I was at my wits end and decided to try the reward chart. I felt that they might be misbehaving so badly in part because we don't spend a lot of quality time together or really do anything fun together anymore. I have been so busy with work (a full-time and a part-time job) in addition to still taking classes to finish my Marketing degree, so I don't get much free time. But, I know that quality time is important, so I decided to try harder. This is how I do the chart:

At the beginning of the week, each child picks out a reward they want to work towards for the week. For example, last week was "A Night Out With Mom". I use the top 5 spaces for my oldest daughter and the bottom 5 spaces for my yougest and I write in their responsibilities. They are each responsible for doing their chores everyday without being told. For each chore completed, they get a star to put in the box. During the week, if they misbehave they get one warning. After the warning, if they misbehave again, I take away a star and write it in the box. And if by the end of the week, they've had 3 or more stars taken away, they do not get the reward. So, it's 3 strikes you're out. And let me tell you, after the warning and/or the threat of taking a star away, they stop dead in their tracks. They act like getting a star taken away is the end of the world and they immediately try to behave. It is working wonders! I seriously can not believe I did not try this before.

Have any of you tried this chart before? How is it working for you? Or do you have any questions about how I'm using it or have other suggestions? Feel free to post a comment and let me know what you think!

Dirty Looks From The Non-Tattooed

We are in week 2 of the new school year, where my daughter is again stuck in aftercare at the school campus for 4 hours in the afternoon. For me, it's kind of a lifesaver. Not very expensive at all, and keeps her safe until I get off of work. Plus, she does all of her homework before we even make it home and all I have to do is check to make sure she's done it right. So things are going pretty well.

My problem is with the other parents who are picking up their children. Well, not the dads, but the mothers. Mostly older mothers, late 30's and early 40's, who look at my tattoos like I have leprosy. Yesterday, I was picking up my daughter, and a girl she has befriended is walking out to the car at the same time we were and her friend says to me "I love your tattoos!" and the girls awful mother says to me "Nice example you are setting" and I replied (very calmly), "Thanks, I like to teach my children to be tolerant and loving to non-tattooed people, too, though". And then, I got the look of death. And I said to my daughter's friend: "Thank you sweetie. Maybe when you turn 18, we can get you a real nice one!"

What would you have said????

Belly Jewelry for Pregnant Moms-To-Be!

My husband and I decided awhile ago that we want to have a baby very soon. Awesome, right? I am still a new employee where I work, so I do have to wait until my health insurance kicks in to really "try" to get pregnant, but it's really only a couple more months to wait until the fun begins.

BUT! That is not what this post is about. This website has belly jewelry for pierced moms-to-be so that you don't have to lose your piercing while your little bun is in the oven. Talk about progressive!

I had been debating on whether or not I would take mine out for good at the point where my belly began to pop out, but now...............maybe not? I told my hubby just to let me know when I am too old to be wearing belly jewerly and I will (reluctantly) remove it.

Just wanted to share this "gem" of a website with all you other mommies!

Food For Thought

As the school year for my oldest daughter comes fast and furious, I am starting to think more and more about what she will be having for lunch during the week. Although the school lunch could be much worse, it doesn't really offer the best in nutrition. Some of the choices are grilled cheese sandwich, corndog, and chicken nuggets. Not good. If given a choice between that and something healthier, my kid would invariably choose the fattiest food on the menu. But, I choose NOT to ignore this about my daughter. And though she is by no means fat, she struggles with her weight much more than your typical 10 year old girl. You see, most of the women in my family have weight issues. Overweight issues. BUT! They were never taught as children about portion control or healthy eating choices. And I do not want to see my daughter grow up overweight, miserable, and with low self-esteem. I can't handle that!

In an effort to keep this issue under control, the first thing I did was enroll her in Taekwondo. We LOVE it! She has so much fun and has even learned to speak a bit of Korean. She attends Master Walter's class 3 days a week at American TKD Martial Arts in Margate, Fl.

Secondly, we have kept a constant watch on what she eats and how much and have explained what portion control means and that it's okay to eat things you like - in MODERATION. You don't have to deprive yourself, you just have to control yourself. Sometimes she listens, and sometimes she doesn't. Like this morning.

I broke down and bought PopTarts for my daughter's breakfast under the strict rule that she can't eat the whole package, she can only have ONE PopTart from the pack and she has to have a glass of orange juice with it. One PopTart is 200 calories! And though 2 PopTarts come in the pack, a serving size is ONE. Yeah, I think it's tricky, too! Anyway, she had her one PopTart and was getting ready to go to the babysitters and I caught her trying to sneak an entirely new pack of PopTarts into her bag. WTF? I was so mad. I gave her a lecture about how that's not healthy, it's sneaky, etc....but I have to say that I was really disappointed by her attempt.

Anways, back to the whole school lunches thing. I found a few great websites with healthy lunch ideas that you can pack for your child for school, so I wanted to share a few of them with you.

This site has 6 different and unique ideas that are great for kids including salad wraps, and something called 'Mexican Mango Madness'. Nice site!

http://www.laptoplunches.com/ideas.html

This site asks you to "think like a kid" when it comes to packing lunches your kids will love and has a few interesting food ideas that you might not have otherwise thought of:

http://www.peelregion.ca/health/nutrition/nm2004/eatwell/lunches.htm

And here, iVillage does a good job of making every day foods more interesting and has links to a few very relevant articles about healthy lunch ideas, too.

http://parenting.ivillage.com/gs/gsnutrition/0,,9tn2hhvz,00.html

I think I will definitely have to try some of these ideas!

I'm Not A Plastic Bag

The "I'm Not A Plastic Bag" bag is pissing me off. My sister recently told me about these, and it's insane. Here's the deal. It's a reuseable bag that can be used for shopping, the beach, school, etc. And the big deal is: it's not a plastic bag. It's "Green", "Environmentally Friendly", etc. Fine. That's fine. I am all for environmentally friendly or vegan friendly products. What pisses me off is that now that celebs have shown an interest in it, the price is over the top. Yeah, well, I saw that for pre-order (if they are ever back in stock) they are listed at $58.00. For what equates to a canvas bag. On ebay, I've seen them go for upwards of $200.00. Seriously.

At Target you can get a reuseable canvas bag for $10 or $15 that is pretty stylish. At the Dollar Tree: $1.00, if it's just that you are environmentally concerned and you don't care about fashion. Because this is not fashion.






Does it matter that people are only buying organic or environmentally friendly or vegan products just because it's "in style"? Should it? Probably not. I should probably think that it's great that people are buying these things regardless of their reasoning. They are helping the planet, after all.

But over-paying for anything is just a waste. Why not buy the $10 bag and spend the other $190 on a charity, or, I don't know...something more meaningful!

Getting a canvas bag that says to everyone "Look at me! Look at me! I'm so green! I'm so popular!" freaks me out. It's like lying, because you know these fake fucks do not care about the planet. They just want the latest and greatest, the biggest and best, and they want to be noticed.

If anything, I'd opt for this version. It says so much more.

Tattooed Moms

Although this article is a bit dated, I was happy to stumble upon it. It talks about the tattooed mommies that chase down their kiddies on the playground and kiss boo-boos just like the rest of the un-tattooed community - and finally gives a bit of credit to parents who are not afraid to express themselves with body art. Woo-hoo!

Dreaded School Shopping

Well, the kids were gone for a week, giving me time to think, sleep, and collect myself into a more presentable package. The start of the school year is right around the corner, which unfortunately for me, means less sleep. This week, I started waking up earlier to get into the routine, and my daughter said I have been "Snappish lately". Me, "Snappish", Really?

So, as I mentioned before I grounded my daughter for using the F word at summer camp. But very literally, 2 days after this incident, she went 250 miles west to stay with my parents for a week. My parents would make sure she had a super fantastic week, pretty much ignoring the fact that she had been naughty. So now that she's home, and the incident (in her little 9 year old head) happened AGES ago, and she's having a very difficult time with being grounded. Not to mention that during the day while she is with the babysitter, she gets to do all kinds of fun stuff AND watch TV. So, in reality, she is only grounded for about 3 hours a night. I would have been so lucky when I was her age to have a punishment like that! So 3 hours a night for 14 nights = 42 hours of punishment. I guess that will have to work.

And last night was fun (and by fun I mean AWFUL). We went to the Super Walmart to go school supply shopping. See, right now in Florida, it's TAX FREE week! And what better week to shop for school supplies? The less of my money that the government gets, the better. But, if you ever go to Super Walmart, you know that on a regular day, it's already packed. Can NEVER find a good parking place, even at like 2am on a Tuesday. Well, last night was a frickin' zoo. At least the school supplies aisle was anyway. This stupid lady damn near grabbed the very LAST composition book out of my hand for her child after I had just picked it up to put it in my cart. Unbelieveable! Every year we are nearly trampled in the store while we struggle to get everything on the list, fighting tooth & nail for the last pretty folder or the last set of washable markers. I know it sounds ridiculous, but these mothers out there are brutal!

Fighting for school supplies, that's just the beginning. Clothes and shoe shopping, that's a whole other story!

The "F" Word

Did I mention that daughters = drama? How about my 9 year old daughter who wishes she was grown told a boy in her summer camp to go "F" himself today. Can I just tell you that my jaw almost fell on the floor when the camp director told me? Now, in her defense my husband and I use the word all the time in general conversation. BUT! we never have told anyone to go "F" themselves, whether in jest or out of anger in her presense. That's not a phrase we use often (if at all), so I don't know where she got that from. AND! When you're young, and you begin using swear words, the "F" word is generally NOT the first one that pops out. Which means that she's been swearing, probably for awhile, using all the other words including that one. Should I be shocked? Probably not, but I am anyways. So, I yelled. I grounded her. And I washed her mouth out with soap.

It is utterly exhausting trying to make sure that your children grow up to to be decent human beings. I am NOT good at it. At all.

But before we spiral down No Return Lane, into Kid Hates Mother Land, I am beginning a parenting crusade. There will be an E-Zine involved. And lots of free cupcakes.

Mid-Summer Mayhem

I've always had a blog. However, I ended my last one abruptly upon my engagement to be married. I can safely say that (for the most part) whatever memories were lingering around in those posts, I no longer wish to recall. I wanted to erase all of it and begin anew. A new life. A new blog. So here I am.

In 4 days I will have been married for 3 months. Yep, I'm a "newlywed". I am newly wed. ha ha ha. I know, I know, that was a bad joke. I'll get better, I promise. I am also a mom. I have 2 of my very own offspring, one is 4 and one is 9. Both girls. Lots of drama.

I pointed out to my new husband (Jason) last night that our "family" is dysfunctional. He tortures my daughters with his antics to try and make them giggle, but it rarely ever works. His sense of humor is rough; somewhat hard to "get". But it makes me laugh, and I think that's the important thing. I told him how I hope he never runs out of material, even by the time we are old, because the fact that he can crack me up is one of the top reasons I love him. I won't get gushy, I'll stop there.

We are like a regular family in many ways. But with lots of tattoos. Jason more-so than the rest of us. Many more to come, I'm sure. And my daughters have caught the tattoo fever, so for them we just use Sharpies (pictures to come soon!) This is because he is a tattoo artist. An "ink slinger". I know he hates that term, but since it amuses me, I think I'll keep using it.

My job is not as exciting, but it's still pretty awesome. I write Google ads for other people's businesses and websites. You know the ones that end up on the top of your search page whenever you type in what you're looking for? Yeah, those. To me, writing the ads is sort of like writing Haiku. In Haiku, you get 3 lines. 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables. In Google, you also get 3 lines. But then you get 25 characters, 35 characters, 35 characters. Not rocket science, but it pays some of the bills.

So, that's my introduction. Stay tuned for more details...